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1st-May-2009 03:16 pm - I live to let you shine.

It's been a while since I've updated, huh? Well, I've been feeling a little poetic lately so here's some poems I wrote a while back. I cannot wait to go home and have time to be artsy :]

Endocarditis

I’m choking on the shards of my swollen heart
That you crammed down my throat and
This stomach full of butterflies and blood
Is starting to spill into my tangled insides
And seep through the ribs that you’ve cracked.

Ombrophobia

On sunny days we would lay outside
Listening to each other’s heartbeats.
You drummed on my ribs and plucked at my heartstrings
while the butterflies in my stomach
Crescendo into my throat.

On rainy days we would sit inside
writing our wishes on paper hearts.
We kept them in a jar on the shelf
vowing never to open it until the sky crashed down
And the stars became ours.

Although you liked the sunny days best
and hated rainy days for their gloom
I liked any kind of day
so long as it was with you.


I never finished the second poem and probably won't but I think it sounds decent anyway. Anywho, only 3 more finals left and I'm feeling confident that I'll do well on them. You know, I'm really enjoying how happy and optimistic I've been feeling lately. I just feel like everything will be okay no matter what happens. And I like that. I can't wait to see what the future holds :]
20th-Feb-2009 01:42 am - I miss you..
Crappy poem I wrote today...


I miss your crooked smile
and the butterflies that caught my breath.

I miss the cold fingers that intertwined mine
and the milky skin that stretched over your sharp bones.

I miss the way our hearts beat together
like a song; my favorite lullaby.

I miss the way my heart skipped at your voice
and the way you said 'I love you'.

But most of all..I miss you.
19th-Feb-2009 12:40 pm - We Could Have Been.
It seems every day ends in heartbreak. Will I ever find someone to love me and all my flaws?
      ...No. Nobody likes broken things.


Cracks. by Amertie


before, you were the cracks in my bones, the stains in my carpet and the blood from my wounds.
but you told me that there is no point in speaking if no one is listening.
and you never were, so now you are only the dead silence that lingers in my heart.
.

you gave me flowers for my birthday.
'no thanks', i said, shaking my head. 'they'll only die.'
you smiled. 'but that's why i picked them - to watch them die. isn't it beautiful?'
and i could only wonder if you picked me for the same reason.
.

i used to think i was made of glass; breakable and fragile. and once it's broken, no one can put the pieces back together just right.
but you taught me that i'm not.
see, glass shines when light touches it.

i don't.

16th-Feb-2009 06:09 pm - Sweet Little Nothings...
I found a poem on deviantart that spells my name

It's spelled the wrong way but its still pretty..
 


Explosion of Colors

One day –
[A] You will walk down the street, eyes searching the night for that one star speckling the black with flecks of gold.
The street lights will have just danced to life; shadows will fall towards the end of the sky.
And your happy ending will rush forward, prepared to never leave.
Be ready.

One day –
[L] Your hands will brush as you tumble to the ground, and you will both think that maybe you shouldn’t have been staring so intently at the pearly heavens above you.
Until your eyes meet, that is. And you will know, in that three second flash, that you can learn to reach the marble pedestal you both seek. 

One day –
[Y] You will drift in a meadow, its flowers smelling of violet and hazel while you look between the trees for promises of something-more-than-lust from fairytales.
The stars will whisper in a pointless attempt at distraction, and he will hold your gaze at last, telling you that you should try to trust the air with your secrets so that maybe one day you will be able to trust someone other than the pen and page.
He knows you still need to grow. You're only yet a tanned sapling. So he will try to evolve with you because his only wish is that you grow into perfect for each other.

One day –
[S] You see the sun's orange glow, dragging forth a new dawn. I pray for the moment when it will no longer blind you, turning from dull yellow to brilliant copper.
And the sky will no longer be a plain-jane blue, laced with dead gray clouds.
He will paint it cerulean, and declare it almost as pretty-ful as you
[because beautiful isn’t
as gentle.]

One day –
[S] You will see that your song of happiness is like the dinosaurs.
It has not disappeared, or gone extinct, or vanished from thin air with a snap.
It’s simply shy. And it will find you again.
Don’t lose faith just yet.

One day –
[A] Your happy ending will come out of hiding.
You will carve your way in. Dig beneath his skinandbones beauty. Peel back one rib at a time.
Reveal the mass of redblue, alive, reaching for another breath, one more touch.
Is it still pumping forth a green-less rainbow of auburn-midnight blue-lavender-periwinkle-fuchsia-copper-cerulean?
You will find your explosion of colors.

6th-Feb-2009 09:22 am(no subject)


Hehee I heart a softer world <3

I love poetry.
I could just sit and read it all day.
I wish I could make words sound pretty like that.
I'm better at making pictures though.


This one I found on deviantart.
It reminds me of Ross :]


Te Amo by Miss Deathwish
 
you are worth the sum of two moons and
three-hundred and ninety-seven crystalline stars.
(you outshine everything
                     everything
                     everything.)

you are beautiful, like a fallen paper angel, with
tattered wings and a shipwreck smile, and
your halo is woven from strands of golden
                     and smiles
                     and love.

you are damaged, maybe, but through your cracks
and bruises shines a glow that's worth the hurt, seeping through
your fractures like the ocher-eyed sun,
                     the silver-threaded rain,
                     the sunset-spattered sky.

you speak of translucent dreams and strawberry skies
and black-and-blue fingertips pressed to forlorn skin.
to you, i can say 'i love you', and i'll always mean it.
                     (love isn't even
                     a strong enough word.)

I miss him lots and he's only been gone for a day.
I heart my boyfriend so much <3

Christi and I had fun yesterday
painting our skins with rainbows and lyrics.
They still haven't washed off.
Christi left her teacup and markers in my room
I love Christi!

One more day :]



I love the things that make me smile <3
 


I am sitting in Ethics
and it's making my head spin.
Morals, freedom, will, duty...
It's all so confusing!

But it's a beautiful day today
and I'm not going to waste it.
Even with my sore throat.

But I am awfully sleepy..
I feel happier for some reason..
Nothing and everything has changed and
I'm hoping it's for the better.

Ross came to visit this weekend and he makes me happy.
He's so sweet and shy it's adorable.
He's visiting again this Wednesday after classes and I'm excited :]

I filled out the FAFSA over the phone with my mommy today.
It was easier than I remembered
But I miss my mommy and my sibby terribly.
My sister just turned 17 too!
She's getting so old
Old fart.

Steve was talking to me today
He's so sad.
He's afraid of losing his girlfriend but I don't think he has to worry
He's such a great guy and they love each other so much
They'll work things out I think :]

I'm starting to get a sore throat
I hope it goes away
I don't want to be sick :[

I love Brand New lots <3

You chew up your words

and spit out the shards.

They glitter so pretty in the light

I almost believe them.
 

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